TRUTHFULLY, MOI AM ANGELINA JOLIE!
MARK YOUNG WRITES IN:
Who is Eileen R. Tabios? Is she real?
My answer is no. As I prove in my soon-to-be-published Coming to a Fullstop: Punctuating the Poems of Eileen Tabios I believe she is a ficcione, the creation of much-rejected Icelandic poet Einar Beestiol -- note the anagram -- who has used a computer program to mix equal parts of the great Icelandic creation poem Voluspo with the Diaries of Golda Meir & created a far-fetched persona to clothe them in -- I mean, who really can believe in this purported author; female, attractive, member of a minority, who has given up a career in corporate banking to grow grapes & write poetry? -- in the desire of building up his/her myth which, at an appropriate time, when half the books published in the world in any one year will carry his/her name, he/she will expose the true reality of, thus generating enormous interest & a number of competing films which actors will fall over themselves to be cast in the title role & for which he/she will write the screenplays.
& which, inevitably, will fulfil his/her true desire, to have his/her character in a Holly- or Bollywood blockbuster shared by Tom Cruise & Angelina Jolie in an extremely flattering portrayal.
posted by na @ 9:37 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I'm copynpasting here a poem from Mark Young's blog that's related to this blurb-ful matter:
Living in the 'blurbs, a ficcione for The Chatelaine
Except for those weeks
immediately preceding
&, if the national
entry manages a place
amongst the top
three, immediately following
the Eurovision Song
Competition, Icelandic
radio plays nothing
but Björk. Turn it off &
there are the sounds
of volcanoes & hot
pools which, if you’ve
heard them once
you’ve heard them to
the point of bore-
dom. Still Björk. Little
wonder then that,
on a day when the
melting polar cap
drove banks of fog
southward & made
moving hazardous, Einar
Beestiol, self-proclaimed
but much-rejected poet
whose style derived
from Voluspo, the great
Icelandic creation
poem, & whose
titles -- I Take Thee,
Jules Verne, for My
Beloved, since by setting
the portal of your
Journey to the Centre
of the Earth in Iceland,
you showed me there
was a way out –- were
so long that readers
gave up on them before
they had even come upon
the body of the poem,
decided on a change
that he hoped might
make his name heard
across the world. Three
steps to it. Compile
a program that through
random selection but
stochastic process
combines & rearranges
as poems parts of
Voluspo & The Diaries
of Golda Meir, a book
he’d found discarded
outside a goodwill store.
His name as anagram
as author. A persona
to go. Thus Eileen R.
Tabios. Thus attractive
female, memberless
but member of
a minority, MBA &
former East Coast corporate
banker, now growing
grapes in West Coast
California. The R., he
decided, could stand
for Rose. Even Ice-
landers have heard
of Gertrude Stein.
EILEEN R. TABIOS
“I really think you should title this poem ‘Eileen R. Tabios’”
—Eileen R. Tabios
Eileen R. Tabios
Announced today
That her next book
Will be
5000 pages long.
In an unrelated development
Eileen R. Tabios
Announced
That she has acquired
A major interest
In International Harvester,
The only U.S. manufacturer
Of oversize-poetry book forklifts.
It was learned
Early today
That Eileen R. Tabios’
Book for the next year
Will be
13,000 pages long.
In an unrelated development
Eileen R. Tabios
Announced
That she has acquired
San Francisco’s famous
Coit Tower
Which she will turn
Into a library
Housing one large print
Version of her book.
It was learned
Early today
That Eileen R. Tabios
Has acquired large tracts
Of the Pacific Ocean
For an unknown purpose.
In an unrelated development
Eileen R. Tabios
Announced
That the number of pages
Of her future books
Will be counted
In leagues and fathoms.
It was learned
Early today
(continued next page)
***
by Sandy McIntosh
(from The After-Death History of My Mother, 2005, Marsh Hawk Press)
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